(several times here, in fact), are the days of our lives. The only ones we get.

I’m starting the 2010 edition feeling depressed, honestly depressed for the first time in a long time. Not angry, not helpless, not stressed, just your basic depression.

I feel like I want to lay on my back all day with a pillow over my face and do it all again tomorrow and the next day.

I’m trying hard to fight it off, because I have a lot to do and I start the semester’s teaching next week.

do I realize just how much of my life I’ve wasted in various kinds of emotional collapse. What if I’d been less sentimental in general, had spent less time prostrate on beds with pillows over my head?

Days, weeks, months being heartsick, or depressed, or angry, essentially dysfunctional, unproductive, even regressive.

If I’d been a stoic, I’d have also been more prolific.

But I guess that’s what happens. You are who you are, you can’t get the time back, and at those actual moments, it was all I could do to simply survive.

So here it is. I’m not linking to it yet and it’s barely more than a skeleton at this point, but it’s official. This will be Leapdragon 2010.

For the first time ever, I’ve done what I always swore I wouldn’t and switched over to a database-driven CMS, namely Drupal. Why did I always refuse? I don’t know. The love of plain text files that can be grepped and awked about with basic Unix tools. Greymatter was ideal for me in that regard.

So why switch now? Because I’ve grown fond of Drupal and because I can’t be bothered with anything that requires more work than that. I’m moving on in life, I suppose.

I have bigger and flashier (or maybe just different) things to worry about than cooking up the perfectly idiosyncratic webhome. I need something quick, dirty, and scalable that I can develop in a couple hours, not a couple weeks, and that will more or less take care of itself.

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Anyway, welcome to 2010.