that life cannot possibly be short enough

—

i feel as though this year has absolutely sucked the life out of me

6.00 wake up, shower, etc.
6.30 leave for work
7.00 work (**stress, meetings, more meetings, speeches, presentations, deadlines, loneliness**)

…

7.00 leave work
7.30 come home to empty house, exhausted; eat, worry about bills, moving, and school
8.00 fail to actually do anything or go out — too exhausted; turn on tube and browse ‘net
9.00 talk to girlfriend for five awkward minutes
9.05 have a couple of beers and a couple of butts to put it all away
9.30 go to bed

lather, rinse, repeat (while getting ever-deeper into debt and ever-closer to personal deadlines)

I feel like I’m in high school again. You remember, the sense of impending dread and dissatisfaction, the hate for authority, the tense mornings and seemingly endless days, the lack of autonomy and sense of domination, the wish that it was all over, all different, that somehow you could be a bigger person in a bigger world, the unending desire to walk around with a cigarette in your mouth and say “this sucks,” cutting class when you can…