Whatever happened to

– my creative writing life
– my creative life, period
– my love of reading social theory
– my love of video games
– my love of film and essays about film
– my personal diary, which I kept for years on PDAs
– my calling in the desert
– the overabundance of freelance work I used to get
– the friends and co-workers I used to have
– the good old days
– my twenties
– 2004

—

Do I feel free, or at least deliberate? If not, why not, and how can I fix it?

—

This city is exactly like Salt Lake City, only with trees instead of tall buildings, sun instead of snow, and Californians instead of Mormons. But otherwise, it’s the same.

Why don’t businesses leave messages when they call you?

Someone has been trying to reach me all week, but I can’t answer my personal phone while I’m working. They have caller ID blocked, so I don’t know where to return a call, and they never leave a message. This is like the fifth time. I assume they don’t call me evenings and my phone doesn’t work evenings anyway (it gets no signal in that part of Santa Barbara).

Hopefully they manage to call while I’m on lunch today.

i
am going
to fall
aslee
p

It’s two hours into my work morning and I have just produced a draft of my dissertation proposal. I feel good. Very, very good. Woo.

Woo-hoo.

Woo-hoo

hoo.

Larger city needed. Even Salt Lake City would feel nice, for a day or two, though I don’t think I could stomach it much longer than that.

—

My dissertation ideas are getting clearer and clearer. I feel good. Very good. I’m excited.