I can’t leave the library, I don’t have this track on my Nomad only in my laptop, and I think if I stop listening to it, I’ll die… I don’t have any way or any tool with me to get the track into my Nomad… I don’t think I can ever leave the library again…

—

So I was all gonna sit around outside and have me a think but somebody fucking turned the heat off, it’s freezing in Chicago! Good thing I brought my hoodie, but I’m not gonna sit outside anymore.

Jesus, this is pathetic:

I don’t have a single excuse now, I’m just not working. I’m not even “wandering.” I’m just standing here explicitly not working.

so close and yet so far

life, kidsssss

—

…
 …
  …

  if ( freud_was_right )
    return ( back_to_womb_b4_ctrl_algo );

/*
/* 2.29.76
/* This is the main loop
/* I don”t have time to document it fully now,
/* will fuck with it later.
*/

/*
/* 5.24.04
/* Still haven”t fucked with it, damn,
/* steems stable, though.
*/

  while ( 1 ) {
    all_hangups[++pain_index] = new_hangup = try_fail_gethurt( (void *) all_you_have );
    if ( focus_on ( &new_hangup ) == oops_kill_self )
      exit ( banal_note_key ( new_hangup ) );
    else
      sleep ( not_enough );
  }
}

/*
/* This next function takes care of victories,
/* it”s not yet clear that this is needed,
/* will implement if we end up needing this case.
*/

int i_won( struct life_experience *mylife ) {
  log_and_punt ( “int i_won(): Implement me!” );
}

  …
 …
…

post-mortem:

walked six miles, mostly carrying boxes, love your hate, trust no-one, spend your cash on booze-o-hol, saw too many people to wave to and one thing not understood, wanted to hit things, didn’t pay the fucking surcharge, got my flight info, ate pseudo-mexican , didn’t violate someone’s line, talked about theses, didn’t care about theses, found out about leading discussion on friday, decided to kill someone, couldn’t get up the balls to kill someone, drank instead, there is no such thing as a pina colada slurpee in this neighborhood to add booze-o-hol to, will have a pina slurpee plus ciclon once landed in new zion

i am trying so fucking hard

fuck . you . all

things I learned today:

– guitars are a pain in the ass to ship
– I really hate having to make lists
– there are some big things I haven’t thought through
– it’s hot and smelly in Chicago
– my feet don’t want to be bare
– I eat more than my girlfriend thinks
– boxes cost more than I thought
– life’s a bummer when you’re a hummer

I think I slept in a fscked up position… my neck is really stiff.

—

Rumsfeld’s Sovereignty Shell Game
Rumsfeld Bans Cameras
Diplomatic Immunity for 130,000
Banning The Vote
Combat Boots in Sunni Abu Hanifa

—

So, Lovelock is finally suggesting that in the face of an accelerating global crisis, nuclear may be an important technology. If society is going to start ramping up nuclear again, maybe governments and utilities will finally transcend the impossibly loaded political climate surrounding new nuclear technologies and implement the safer, more sustainable nuclear technologies that have been invented in the many intervening decades since digital watches and pocket calculators turned up.

Accelerator-driven waste-transmuting fast breeder or subcritical fast spectrum reactors like the Galena reactor, both of which produce very little long-lived radioactive waste and moderate coolant temperature by simple intervention-free convection, rather than needing moving parts and human monitors for control systems, are infinitely “greener” than traditional LWR/HWR/GMR designs.

But probably not, since it costs slightly more. We’ll end up with the same old Three Mile Island and Chernobyl designs and piles and piles of spent rods that will have to be buried at Yucca Mountain… and we’ll continue to have to mine uranium at an alarming rate (which produces an incredible amount of pollution in and of itself) rather than exploiting Pu239 created by breeding. Oh well, that would suit the Department of Homeland Security just fine, I suppose, even though the concentrations of Pu240 and Pu241 in the resulting fissionable material would make it unsuitable for weapons use.

God, the world is fscked up.

—

I stayed up until 4.00 in the morning, but I didn’t do any more work on, nor did I finish, the paper I was working on. Now, of course, I regret it. Fsck.

I wonder if the dead person is any of the rotten faculty or staffers that I used to want to kill. Maybe that über-bitch police officer on the first floor that jumped J.J.? I can hope…