Oh yeah… and your little dog, too!

So if you keep on keepin’ on pre-empting the final question because you’re afraid of any answers you might actually receive are you expeditious, or are you just a fucking coward? And in the end, does it matter, or will the little chubby children make fun of you anyway, regardless?

Every last damn thing that happens makes me more and more cyncial. And yet at the same time I try to be more and more nice. It’s a recipe for splitting (borderline term applied incorrectly), a recipe for insanity.

I joined the 51 club tonight. We’ll see if I can shell out for that shit.

I don’t know how I feel about loyalty. When other people have it to me, the question of whether or not I appreciate it hinges on how I feel about them. I don’t know if it’s the same way for other people. I get the feeling that some people like every damn person on Earth no matter how useless, and that other people will die before they show an ounce of loyalty, even if their feeling runs as deep as the Mariana Trench.

Fsck that.

The code is working, for the most part. The HTML is sketchy though so I don’t know how well it’ll hold together. We’ll see. I can’t stand to look at it any more today, though. I don’t know what I’ll do. Travis called and wanted some computer help but I didn’t finish listening to the message (no I didn’t answer the phone).

I’m tired of this fscking library and of the people that are always in it. But there is nowhere new to go; I just saw nearly everybody in my department last night and (not that they’re bad folk) I’m not really into trying to recreate that.

I gotta hurry and get everyone else online here so it doesn’t look like the same old “me blog” again. No shit.

Yet another test entry. The div blocks are still fucking with me.

…to see what happens next. You think you know what it is, and that gets to be a little self-fulfilling, but you don’t really want to do anything else in the meantime.

Some panhandler tried to tell me that my not coughing up was “just not right.”

To the panhandler: I’ll fscking give you not right. I’ll fscking wipe my ass with yours, just you say that shit again you fscking asshole. I said that shit to you and I’ll say it again and just you wait, the next time it won’t be some frightened look in your eyes, the next time I will have you and you will whimper like a beaten dog.

To the people who are all bothered about bpd/ocd/bipolar emotional need responses: fsck you all. I don’t need you. I was fine before and I’ll be fine again and always, you can kiss my ass. I’ll be alone and beautiful and ready to glisten and you’ll be in your crowd.

To everyone: DIE.

Today I choose to shoot you, and you, and you, and you, and you.

You are all very lucky. I could have shot someone else instead. But no! Instead I chose to stroke your ego. Don’t flatter yourselves, though; tomorrow I will shoot someone else already. You only get to die once.