Thank God for friends.

“llumination comes so hard
Makes me see but leaves its scars
At times I wish that I didn’t know what I know now
Thought and thought until I lost my mind
Looked and looked until I went near blind
The path is fair but so unkind”

Now I am regretting my last entry.

“Happiness is being able to tell the truth without ever hurting anyone.”

Corollary: There is no such thing as happiness.

You know you’re in trouble when there is nothing left in the world that you can say because everything you say seems to hurt one of the myriad people that you love, and that’s just too much for you to bear, so you choose to remain silent, rather than risk hurting anybody that matters to you precisely because they matter to you.

Eventually, you succumb to the blizzard of emotional shards and no-one ever hears from you again. Then, they all ask in retrospect, “What happened to person X? And if something was wrong, why didn’t he/she tell me about it?”

It’s the nature of human existence: we all love each other; we all make each other incredibly uncomfortable. We’re all terrified of loneliness; we’re all determined to be alone. We’re all trying to save the world, we’re all determined to be better than it.

Someday I will finally self-destruct like I should have done long ago. Drinks will not be served; everyone should get drunk before they show up.