Whale & wasp. Repeat. Still working. Also, some inkling of why I draw the conclusions I do has crept in tonight, and now that I know that I’m not wrong, things are gnawing at me again. Damn.

I am still sitting here writing, as I have been all day, trying to create useful content with a minimum of cruft and little or no confusion. Not always easy, not easy at all. When I draw up proposals, in inevitably underestimate the complexity and nuance inherent in what I’m trying to accomplish. This time around the block, things are no different.

After this project, the next will either involve music or photography and will be less profit-oriented and more cause-oriented. I haven’t decided what it’s to be yet. I wanna help out, you know?

And I need to begin working on serious plans for what I’m going to do with next summer. It’s a huge opportunity for creation; what’s to be the angle? Is it a writing trip? A shooting trip? What am I looking for? I don’t want to stumble through it, pointing to this and that in delight, only to find when I get back that all I’ve done is provide myself with light entertainment.

I’ve just found a bug in my page generation code for IE users.

I will find the meaning behind life yet. Don’t believe it? Watch me. Watch me.

Whale & wasp. Repeat.

Yes, it is true. Autumn is here, it is blowing in over the lake — I can smell it, sense it. Things are so different now than they were last autumn, or even in May, or even two weeks ago. Things are always changing, always evolving, always praying to tomorrow.

I am having a difficult go of things. I will be glad when October comes and I am on to new projects and things have evolved in new ways. There is nothing to excite me here, now. Perhaps I can find something to excite me once current responsibilities have been discharged.

Perhaps someday I will be able to walk the road, never leaving it, ever, for the rest of my life.

Grr, the summer of distraction-by-travel is over and now I have descended once again into the same pile of small, seemingly simple but somehow unsolvable problems I had beforehand. Now I am writing like crazy, several chapters at once to make graphics easier.

Specifically, I feel I am suffering either a lack of patience, or a lack of action, it’s hard to know which. If I simply work and wait, there is travel next spring (not that far off now) and after that, graduate school. But really, that plan contains only two major items and yet stretches to fall 2004! Rather empty. So then, I should act, yes? But any more major actions now will jeopoardize travel and graduate school. So I should be patient.

But I am incredibly bored and annoyed with my current circumstances and with living in Salt Lake City, which, after this summer, is really getting to me in ways that it hasn’t in a very long time.

I am feeling rather cranky about all of this…

Life is wonderful. Life is hell.