I just saw a full-on picture of fall, with leaves turning red, falling, white skies, damp sidewalks… I nearly fucking burst out crying. It has been two years since I had a proper fall or a proper winter. I have to have them. I have to return to somewhere with seasons. All of my strength and everything that I am come from fall and winter.
I am impossibly, impossibly sad and full of longing for the seasons of the hearth. I can’t bear to be awake right now or to look outside these godforsaken windows and see nothing but fucking palm trees, the liars’ liars. I have to get away.