is the saddest sensation in the world 🙁
though I suppose with 11 of 22 months apart and half of the rest spent working on papers, there’s not much else to expect
—
really my girlfriend, my family, and my friends all seem about a billion miles away right now, plastic and unreal and nonexistent and unimportant; they are little drunken mirages that stumble around somewhere behind the lenses of my eyeballs, having no bearing on life as it actually is or on my feelings as I actually have them
I have lost all of my people, and I despair at ever getting them back in any meaningful way
my inability to establish object permanence has emptied my world of souls
there is only me and me alone
—
work tomorrow
fuck
—
i am such damaged goods right now 🙁
and i am way lonely 🙁
bacchus to the rescue
take me away!