I am often at odds with myself over my decisions in life. I am sitting here having a beer and listening to Latif Bolat. Turkish folk music has a way of reminding me that there are things I’d rather be doing… that I’m not doing.
Why am I not doing them?
I dont’ know. I’m schooling instead. I’ve no idea why, beyond a few petty ego issues. I realize completely that I’m going spend years and go into debt to get my Ph.D., only to throw it all away. I know I’ll throw it away because I’m incapable of doing anything else; on the day that I die, I want to die a simple man, not a “doctor.” But while I’m still alive, not dying, I want to be a “doctor.”
People are funny things, aren’t they?
I have to go now so that I can clap my hands and dance around to the Sufi music.