There is a secret club of men all around the world that I have never belonged to. I know because there are all of these odd handshakes with fifty moves that various guys throw at me, acting like I am supposed to know what move comes next, even if I’ve never seen them before in my life. Some of them are longer than others, but regardless of implementation, I always end up with a blank look on my face and a hand that doesn’t know what to do next.
I wonder what the hell I was supposed to do to be let in on the secret? I mean, some of them I sort of vaguely recognize from the neighborhood where I grew up, but I don’t think it’s a local thing, ’cause some of them are way out there and it’s not like every idiot out there really thinks I grew up in his neighborhood.
Another mystery of the universe. Shit.